But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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