Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Houston, we have a blender
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Randomize
