check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
