exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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