I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You're like the curious george of whores
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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