we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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