Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
