a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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