i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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