guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize