so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
