i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
