Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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