tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
