Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
