Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
