Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
