What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
