she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize