were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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