just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
