so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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