420 ftw
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
