I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
