Porn is love you can see.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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