uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
