i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
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