Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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