I feel like abortions should bother me more
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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