I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
