All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
