And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
