so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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