Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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