I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
