What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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