Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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