if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just high enough for therapy.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
