Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
