After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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