What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
