garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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