TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
