evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
