that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
