If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
love makes seman taste better
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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