I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
