ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
