So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
