And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
