Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
