ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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