All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I don't deserve a penis
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
