Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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