I'm going to jail i love you
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
